QUESTIONS 4 TODAY

QUESTIONS 4 TODAY

The questions you ask yourself today play a vital role in the shaping of your future. A thoughtful question discourages fuzzy thinking. It focuses the will and directs your mental resources on the issues of life; how they affect your personal development. The practice of self dialogue in the form of question and answer increases your understanding of the self:

• Why you act in a particle way in a given situation?
• Why you adopted the belief systems you now have?
• Your attitude to change and personal development?

Self discovery is the key to personal development.

You are as good as the questions you ask.

QUESTIONS

Am I maximising my potential?
Knowing what I now know would I be doing this...?
What are my limiting beliefs and assumptions?
Are my values clearly defined?
What are my life's goals?

Am I maximising my potential?

How long would you allow your kid to spend in 1st Grade? What if s/he loves it and asks for two more years – in 1st Grade? I am sure you will look him/her straight in the eye and say: Son, or Daughter, you have to move on to the next grade. I may be wrong. However, in adult life, with the absence of external pressure to move forward, you tend to stay in first grade for a couple more years.

Your 1st grade is any situation you are in that is no longer contributing to your growth or advancement: An unhealthy relationship; an unfulfilling job; not wanting to leave port for the open sea; being too comfortable within your comfort zone.

Asking yourself, “Am I maximising my potential?” forces you to listen to the genuine cry of your heart. The heart will never be comfortable with less than what the self can achieve. Trying to quiet the cry of the heart, with drugs, alcohol or unhealthy habits, is impossible.

A tree grows as high as it can. The river flows as fast as it can. With human beings, on the other hand, the story is different.

Do not be satisfied with your current circumstance when there is room for growth. Cultivate an attitude of continuous personal development.

Learn all you can. Can all you learn and then use the can.

Knowing what I now know should I be doing this...?

Do you feel stuck in a situation you landed in because you made a poor decision in the past? – The wrong job, career path, business, or relationship? Knowing what you now know what is keeping you from choosing the right path?

Many a man has been crippled by the fear of uncertainty.

Uncertainties are the bricks by which you build your life. Until you take hold of uncertainties, laying them down as you would use bricks in building your house you will have no idea where your life is going.

You must handle uncertainties with courage. The fear of uncertainty will waste your life.

Life will be boring without uncertainty. Uncertainty itself is exciting. This is why you read novels; watch TV Series; and getup in the morning not knowing what’s in store for you.

In answering the above question you must deal with the fear of uncertainty. Do not let this fear cripple you. Every time you allow yourself to be defeated you strengthen its grip on you. Every time you retreat you lose ground. And the harder it becomes to win the fight.

Answer this question honestly. Proceed courageously. Know that others have gone before you. You will draw strength from their stories.

What are my limiting beliefs and assumptions?

Your belief system and assumptions have been shaped by a mixture of your environment, parent, education, religion, experiences and personal choices. Your beliefs and assumptions are your map. The map is not the territory. Your beliefs and assumptions are not the reality. Your must question their usefulness in your life from time to time.

Limiting beliefs
Any belief that undermines your abilities and curtails your drive for personal growth and advancement is a limiting belief. You must examine all your belief systems to be able to identify those that are limiting you. Get into the habit of questioning your belief systems. If your hear yourself saying, “I am too old to learn.” Ask yourself the following questions:

How old is too old?
What is wrong with learning in my old age?

Punching holes on your limiting belief systems will deflate them. Soon they will have no sway over your decisions and actions.

Assumptions
Assumptions are beliefs or feelings that something is true or that something will happen although there is no proof.
Our subconscious mind operates on our assumptions. If you assume the dog is going to be hostile to you, your subconscious mind prepares your body for a hostile encounter with the dog. The dog sensing your hostility acts hostile toward you thus reinforcing you assumption. If you assume the dog to be friendly, you subconscious mind prepares you for a friendly encounter. The dog in turn acts friendly toward you.

Recall a time you were meeting someone for the first time. What were your assumptions about the encounter? How did it turn out?

Like limiting beliefs, you must wrestle with your assumptions by asking direct questions.

Why am I assuming that the meeting is going to be antagonistic?
Do I have the facts to back this assumption?

If you cannot state the facts, know that it is a limiting assumption. You will get more from the meeting if you prepare to deal with participant in a courteous and friendly manner.

Challenge your limiting beliefs and assumptions as often as the need arise. This practice will put you in control of your life and actions. You will experience a sense of freedom and a sense of being in charge.

Take the following belief:

“Opportunity comes but once.”

This belief system assumes that opportunity will come to you. If this is part of your belief system your action will be that of waiting for the right moment and jumping at opportunity when it presents itself.

Contrast to the above, examine the following:

“You create your own opportunity.”

This belief system empowers you to be proactive. You make things happen. You live life with a how-can-I-make-it-happen attitude.

Beliefs and assumptions shape your life in a subtle but powerful way. Before the 1400s everyone believed and assume the world to be flat. As a result sailor had a fear of falling over the edge of the world. This fear limited them from venturing out into uncharted territories. The rest is history. Make no mistake your belief systems shapes your life.

Question the beliefs and assumptions that have shaped your life since childhood. You will have to think deeply on this one.

Are my values clearly defined?

Values are your beliefs about what is right and wrong and what is important in life. Values help you create a picture of you ideal self, and point you in that direction. Values are your moral compass. When your goals are aligned with your values your life will be in harmony. You will experience peace and calmness in making life-changing decisions. Operating from this harmonious state gives your power. You are said to be in a resourceful state.

Defining your values clarifies them. You understand them and are able to apply them in your daily decision making.

Pursuing a goal that disagrees with your value system produces discord. Discord squanders your resourceful state. Every time you violate your value system you experience internal conflict and stress.

Refusing to define your values will not prevent you from violating them and suffering the consequences. The only difference is that you will be suffering without knowing the cause.

Don’t be deceived by the inconspicuous nature of the toll rendered on the body when you violate your values. Stress that results from internal conflict put enormous pressure on the nervous system, causes chemical imbalance, depresses the immune system and adversely affects your emotional health. These secondary events cause further damages to your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual self. Many addictions and other risky behaviours have their first cause in the chain of event when one violates one’s value system.

Defining your values will increase the overall quality of your life.

What are my goals?

With well defined values, it becomes easier to set goals for your personal development. At every moment in your life you must be doing something that contributes to the achievement of your goals. (When you eat, sleep, day dream, etc. you are contributing to the achievement of your goal)

Goals can be broken down into long-term, short-term, monthly, weekly, daily etc. Choose a system that works for you. One in which the larger goal is made up of a series of smaller goals.

Break every goal into series of small steps. Steps that you can clearly define and act upon in the time frame you give yourself.

If you want to start your own business, that is the big picture. Break it down to five distinct sub-goals. Then break the individual goals into their manageable smaller goals with their individual time-to-completion. There are no limits to the number of times you can sub-divide your main goals.

Your goals in themselves are dead. Working on the manageable sub-goals is what creates excitement and momentum, giving you the energy to persevere till you realise your main goal.

You have latent mental resources that are just under the surface. The process of goal-setting will bring these resources to your aid.

No one knows what your capabilities are, not even you. Stop limiting yourself and start exercising your abilities in creating your future.


These questions are for today. Today is all you have.


Copyright © 2009 K.K. Agbermodji All Rights Reserved